With the changing times, we humans are becoming more and more selfish and self-centred. Inculcating kindness, care and compassion in kids is becoming challenging than ever. Heavy exposure to media and pampering from parents, is turning kids into harsh and stubborn ones. Well, no parent wants their kids to be unkind as kids or as adults.
So, the question arises – is there a way out of all this?
Yes, there is a way out, but, primarily it is the parent who as the first role model for a kid, needs to display kindness, for them to observe and pick it up.
If we go by statistics, a survey of 10000 students in the age group of middle school and high-school in the USA reveals 80% parents teach their children to concentrate on high achievements and personal happiness above kindness and caring. Off-course, the statistics throw light on the current state of mind of teenagers as well. But, the good news is that things can be brought under control. If you want your kids to turn out to be kind and caring as kids as well as adults, here are some techniques coming to your help straight from Harvard.
Be a Role Model – Even if you are not a perfect parent, you can always be a role model for your kids. If you show kindness to others, your kids will automatically inculcate it. So be kind yourself before teaching them to do so.
Practicing is the Key – Nobody is born kind or perfect, right? It’s you as a parent who needs to instill it by way of practice. Try and give opportunities to your kids to practice acts of kindness like sharing their old toys to poor orphans, taking a juniors homework, to name a few.
Feelings Managment – As a parent you need to tell your kids that getting angry, feel anxious or jealous is quite normal in human beings. Further, you need to help them manage these destructive feelings efficiently, based on their individual personalities. If needed you may seek the help of psychologists in school or outside.
Two Vital Skills – The two vital skills that will help your kids build a wider circle of concern are zoom in and zoom out. Zoom in is about concentrating when others are talking viz. listening to them. While zoom out is looking at the bigger picture and learning to put human experience in that context.
Blame Game – Many parents, try finding faults in their kids and are not ready to introspect themselves around what sort of messages are they actually passing on to their kids. It’s a good idea to question your own behavior and ways first, rather than pointing fingers at your child.
It is not a cake walk definitely, to make your kids understand and instill the behavior of kindness in them, but if you try with full zeal it is quite an achievable feat.