What is apparently the definition of over indulgence for children. It is when you give your children whatever they want in terms of toys, gadgets and more basically buying stuff and do their chores. It is when you don’t ask them to abide by certain rules. In a nutshell when you dance to their tunes, it is over indulgence. Now, how do you know that you have been bending to their every want and not need? For example
- When you allow your 5 year old to dress up like a pop star.
- Allowing them to watch movies that are not their age
- Giving the child best of toys and clothes, may be because you never did
- Dressing up a 4 year old who can well by himself/herself dress up or wear shoes
These are just a few examples of what over indulgence in children is all about. But, while your motive is that of providing your child with the best of stuff you can, the fact remains that over indulgence is not a good idea for children. So what can be done? You can apparently draw the line somewhere. Firstly let your children know what is a need and what is a want and how they both are miles apart. You can let them know how their wants can always wait, but needs cannot. It does not mean that they stop wanting stuff, but they it rather means they wait for it or work for it. They could either wait for their birthday or Diwali to get it as a gift or work or may be score well in their daily chores or study to earn it off.
The children will be moulded the way you mould them, if you start early. Here’s how you can inculcate a few habits that can help you resolve this situation
1. Teach them to have patience – In today’s fast paced world, when both parents are working throughout the day and are home by evening, you always want to make everything fast too. Be it feeding the child, stop them from whining and more. So, in order to do that you give up to their wants. Well, that’s not the way, it’s better that they do a bit of struggle to get something. Teach them to have patience and they cannot get everything they want primarily and not at all instantly.
2. Make them feel their responsibility – Give them some daily duties or chores and hold them accountable for that. Assign them age appropriate duties and make sure they do them.
Well, last but not the least, limiting their over indulgence does not mean you limit your love or show of affection to them. Rather do that in abundance, let them feel your love, care and attachment. This will only help make things easier for you and make them feel secure with you.